Step right up to the stretching machine!
More powerful than anything that you’ve seen!
All that you wish—All that you dream
This tool can help you do EVERYTHING

Reaching the stars? Want your feet on the ground?
It lets you rise up while keeping you down.
There’s no better tool to yank you around
In opposite ways like the stretching machine

Craving adventure, while duty calls?
This machine will make you do it all!
(Its grip is quite tight… the only pitfall
when you’re strapped up inside of this stretching machine)

So thin, you’re invisible! And guaranteed to grow!
It hurts just a bit, but the risk is low
for serious injury (trust me, I know—
I’ve been using this very same stretching machine)

So step up right now, there’s no need for a line!
I’ll share it for FREE! It’s ONE OF A KIND!
Stop dragging your feet!
You’ll RUN OUT OF TIME!
HURRY UP!!

GET ME OUT OF THIS STRETCHING MACHINE!!!